Instead of Good Job!

“Good Job!” – Now that is a phrase that you will not hear in the Montessori classroom. And yet, you will find children who are working hard, learning new skills and building their own confidence and motivation. It appears we should be saying Good Job quite frequently. So why isn’t it used?

We strongly believe in the intrinsic motivation of the child. Whether they are washing windows or learning addition, it is because there is a force within them that wants them to do that task. There are new skills being learnt or old ones being mastered. The phrase “Good Job” not only is generic, but it brings with it an extrinsic appreciation: the appreciation by the adult.

We want to acknowledge their progress, focus on the specifics, and support their understanding of their work. We don’t want them to seek adult approval!

So, what can you say instead?

I like to focus on the facts:

“You worked really hard on that.”

“Look at those straight lines. You have been practicing drawing.”

“It looked like it got hard in the middle. But you kept going.”

These facts bring the child’s focus on the process again. They remember their hard work, their perseverance and how proud they are of their work. They acknowledge specifics of the project, the work that went behind it and removes the adult from the picture.

Of course, many children will bring a drawing or painting to us and say: “I made this for you.” Or “Do you like it?”

In that case, we want to acknowledge that they are looking for input from us. I like to take this as an opportunity to turn those questions around:

“I really like it, especially the __________. What do you like about it?”

We also oftentimes focus on the act of making something for someone else: “Thank you so much for making this for me. You are such a thoughtful friend.”

The drawings and paintings are also great ways to gain more insight into the process happening in the child’s mind.

“Tell me more about this drawing.” (This is my favorite questions for our more “abstract” artists 😊 )

“What made you choose this animal/color/scene?”

“What do you think happens next?” (I made the mistake of asking this of a Star Wars drawing once. The answer was not in line with the Montessori peace curriculum. So beware!)

Does this mean there is any harm in saying Good job? Absolutely not! But given the number of drawings/paintings/pieces of paper we may see at home, these prompts might make the conversations around them more meaningful and constructive, for you and your child!